sleepyskin's Diaryland Diary

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not wanting to fuck me

I wrote a lot last night.
mostly about rejection.
mostly whiile you slept and I
tried to immerse myself in something
anything but you.
I wrote in my head as I laid next to you,
your back to mine
mine to yours
and recited to myself lines
about how something was wrong
something is wrong something is wrong.
isn't that how it usually starts though.
isn't this how I sabatoge, isn't this how
I pull and I pull and I pull until
I'm undone.
I wrote last night, but I hid it all.
just so that you wouldn't see how rejected I felt
by you not wanting to fuck me.

1:17 AM - December 09, 2002

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