sleepyskin's Diaryland Diary

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note to self

the bruises I left on myself after
I told you to go away I told you
you weren't wanted were
unavoidable.
I keep telling everyone "if I am ready it will
be him and he will want
me still." but
the bruises I left on myself turned
this sickish sort of green and
yellow.

and then, I was the one, months after he dropped
the maddest, sickest bomb
to stumble to
fall into his open but unattainable
arms his arms are so perfect
around my waist my shoulders my everything and
he should've just told me to hang up and get some sleep.
but no instead he sat there, somewhere down the line listening
probably scratching his back or rolling over
with the need for rest and listening..
to me cry to me vent to me drunkenly
berate myself through the
morning hours.

(note to self: don't assume that exboyfriends will want you ever again.
do not ever, ever, ever
call them after drinking about 5 too many
pints of strongbow).

11:04 PM - January 07, 2004

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