sleepyskin's Diaryland Diary

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and now I am so empty

today is cold. today is
so much like march seventeenth that
my brain has been tricked.
I pulled things off your shelves.
I read things not meant for me and in the end
I only hurt myself.
the gifts aren't unique afterall
and your flattery and the way I
feel about you seems to be the way
everyone feels about you.
she asked how 'her' cat was.
her cat, my cat, every girl's cat
that came before.
I feel as though nothing we hold is sacred.
I feel as though it's all paper mache over a balloon.
I'm not original. I'm not special.

I tell the man downstairs that I call
my father not to answer the phone if you call.
I hide away up here in the
foggy and sharp with cold northwest.
I'll watch you name show up when the phone rings and
I'll watch it disappear when I fail to answer.
you filled me up and now I am so empty.

9:39 PM - January 13, 2003

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